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Love Yourself!

Written on the: February 14, 2017 by Helen Brenton

Someone asked me the other day how long had I been separated. Separated seemed an odd word to use to describe me – all I could think of was an egg, or a bottle of oil and vinegar! I am not separated – infact I am together, complete and whole! That got me thinking…..

Indeed, I have been divorced for many years. Being busy raising three strapping lads didn’t leave much time for dating or looking for lurrrve. “It’ll happen when you least expect it” said well meaning friends. “Someone will snap you up one day”, said others.

Well I am still waiting for the ‘least expected’ and the ‘one day’…. and it may or may not ever happen. But in the meantime I have learnt a little about what being single means… to me at least!

  • You no longer get invited to dinner parties – but that’s okay – you have learnt to talk to yourself, eat for two, and drink for several!
  • You can have your cake and eat it! All of it! You can even have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner if you want!
  • The old adage of trying to flirt in the supermarket is not a good idea if you shop online. (Have you seen the state of me first thing Sunday morning when I open the door to the delivery guy!)
  • Changing fuses, light bulbs and tyres, stoking barbecues, putting up tents and knocking up shelves is not man’s work!
  • You can pull your own zips up on your frocks, fasten your own necklaces, and apply your own sunscreen to those awkward to reach places!
  • You don’t get on anyone’s nerves at a particular time of the month meaning you can indulge yourself in extreme moodiness and excess chocolate to your heart’s content.
  • Kids from broken homes don’t fail – mine are doing just fine in the big wide world!
  • You have discovered that your own company is the most interesting, creative and enjoyable company you have ever known.
  • Tinder is not for everyone!

Being middle aged and single is actually pretty okay! I can be as fabulously, unashamedly selfish as I dam well like, jet off on holiday when and where I want and eat the food I fancy when I fancy. I can buy as many pairs of shoes as I feel necessary, spend my money exactly as I please and not have to pretend I found a bargain in the sales [c’mon ladies, we’ve all done it!]

Of course, I am not alone, and apparently there is a label for ‘us’ – yes I am now part of a growing population known as ‘Silver Singles’! Silver –Silver??!…. I still like to think of myself as a blonde bombshell… with the help of a local hairdresser of course!

So, my red blooded wine will be breathing heavily later, and I’ll be getting intense with something dark and handsome – namely a bar of my favourite Lindt!  This isn’t just cos it’s a certain day of the year either – I actually do this fairly regularly!

It has taken me several decades and few broken hearts to realise that love is an inside job! No one else can complete us. Yes, in the last few years, the main thing that I have learnt is to love my life, and – and this was the hard bit – to love myself too. Just as I am!

Have a lovely day everyone x


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